Heaven's Lights Heaven's Lights: ((The Sacred Marriage))

Saturday, July 01, 2006

((The Sacred Marriage))

Again, I will take the same boy as an example as he shocked me again. I was happy for him as he expecting his first child in very young age, I thought that would help him improve himself and be more serious and good, as a good example for his child. But I shocked with whom he is expecting the child?!!!! I thought he was married…NO, he is expecting his child with his GIRLFRIEND?!!!
I kept visit and try to collect the whole picture together. My dear boy is living with his girlfriend in her father house and they live together like man and his wife. So, now she is pregnant with their first child!!!

Honestly, he is not the first one. I saw that in many cases. Lately, Tom Cruise and his FUTURE wife Katie welcomed their first baby girl!!! I saw him in an interview and I laughed when the reporter asked him:
NOW when you are going to wed?!!!
Now, the marriage is the last plan for couples.

Countless people do that. I remember another comedy series called (Darma and Garig), sweet funny woman married to lawyer aristocratic man, in one episode her parents decided to marry and she asked them: are you sure… are you ready for this guys?!!! OMG, I laughed and I thought it's just a joke…it can't be real. How they live together and have daughter who is already married herself and now they are thinking about getting married!!!

From a newspaper I found another story, 70s years old couple lived together and have kids and now have grandchildren decided to marry!!!

What is going on people!!!???

I was wondering:
There is no sanctification for the marriage in the west!!!

Therefore, I visited a website I found about the bible's answers and I found the answers that I was wishing for "Thanks God".


Read it carefully

((As a result, it is not honoring to God for a couple to live together before marriage.))

It's the same thing in Islam. We don't have these things in our societies, no men and women living together as girlfriends and boyfriends. People first get married and then have babies.

It's embarrassing subject to talk about, but it really shocking me to see it so popular while the Bible and the Koran agreed that it's not allowed, it is FORBIDDEN.

If we just think about that away from religions. Naturally, if a man fall in love with a woman, he will ask her to marry him, this is how prove that he is in love with her, and he is respecting her as a respectable woman

(for example: Why Prince Charles decided to marry that old Camilla??!!. As I assumed he wanted to prove his love to her AND to replace the lower and improper word "Mistress" to higher and proper word "Wife").

{The Western world has developed an art of glamorizing filth and sin. IMMORALITY is now termed "new morality!" A BASTARD is now called a "love-child!" and a BITCH which normally meant a female dog; when applied to a woman it implied that she was like the bitch in season (rut) - given up to uninhibited sexual abandon, free to all comers. This word is derogatory no more if you apply a superlative to it i.e. simply add the adjective "super" make it "SUPERBITCH!"}
~Ahmed Deedat~


Blogger Noor said...

I just wondering AND I'm happy that the Bible support my thoughts and give me what I wished to find and the same answers that I have in Islam. But, why people of west do the opposite things.

7/01/2006 10:31 AM  
Blogger I love Munich said...

Noor, dear - you are sooooo right! The BIG problem here in the West is that NOBODY even THINKS anymore that this kind of conduct is NOT alright or even forbidden by bothm, bible AND Qur'an! I don't have to look far .. one of my nephews lives together with his girlfriend for close to a year now, not married - it never occured to them this might NOT be Ok! My niece has her boyfriend over in HER ROOM - in my sister's and brother in law's home! She stays over frequently at HIS home as well .. where he and his parents live! NOBODY minds and at the very beginning of this relation I dared to touch this issue by mentioning if she'd find that Ok ... a after all and to call a spade a spade - they do NOT only hold hands during night hours - the response was that would not be ANY problem and was considered "normal"!! Birth-control pills are the norm - of course ...
I can only agree to you but to tell you the truth - I was not aware of that either some 20 years ago ... once you grow up here, it seems "normal" as almost everyone does it - it doesn't occur to someone that there might be something NOT Ok! What awoke this awareness in me was ... ISLAM, and I am eternally grateful for that! It opened to me a totally new perspective - one which is close to not known anymore here in the West at all! There are paternity-tests as ... well, there are a few men who could be the father (but this is NOT common - I have to say, but it happenes!) or so-called one-night stands after parties ect ... I call it Sodoma and Gomorrha! Today it disgusts me ... more than you can imagine!

7/01/2006 12:23 PM  
Blogger allaboutgq said...


Masha'Allah, I like the topics you write about on your blog. It makes people think and realize what the truth is.

However, I just wanted to say two things, Insha'Allah.

First thing I want to say is that you shouldnt much from the kuffar (non-Muslims) because they have nothing to guide them like we do. We have the Quran and Sunnah with us as our guidance. The non-Muslims dont.

In Islam, we are taught how to deal with different people. We are taught the different types of realtionships with other people, including the opposite sex.

The non-Muslims dont have that concept.

So, dont be too surprised that they do these sick things. Be glad you are a Muslim and are saved from this filth. Alhamdulillah.

The second thing that I wanted to say was that you shouldnt look to the Bible for answers. Doesnt matter what the reason is. The Bible that you see today is false and distorted. You will find all the answers in the Quran and Sunnah, Insha'Allah.

Just a friendly advice.

May Allah reward you and keep you on the straight path. Ameen

By the way, this is AllAboutAsma. Im just posting under my other blog name.


- Omar

7/01/2006 1:10 PM  
Blogger Al-Hajeji said...

asalamu alaykum...

Omar - Exactly my opinion! I agree.

Karin - Thank you for your insight, however it makes one sad that society has changed soo much.

Noor - This is a sensitive and interesting post. However, can I ask who is Ahmed Deedat??

7/01/2006 6:12 PM  
Blogger I love Munich said...

To al-hajaji ...
You are so right - to tell you the truth - I feel as outsider in my own society which is very sad as I was born and grew up here! I can only hope people will wake up one day ... but am not optimistic about that at all! It's REAL sad ...

7/01/2006 11:43 PM  
Anonymous Neverland said...

Hi Noor,
Al Hajaji introduced me to this post, because I have written something similar in my blog...

I have to say that the causes of this Phenomena is the Neglecting actions that is taken by people which refuses to consider religion as a systematic procedure that controls our lives.
People in the west don't really have a strong religious base, they think that freedom means to act with no boundaries at all!

Your article is great, although I wished you haven't connected it to the Bible, because I have received an e-mail saying that we "Muslims" say that the Bible isn't quite what God has said, and so how do we use what we have said that it was transformed along the years to prove a point of ours?

I hope you'll have the chance to visit my blog and read what I have written about this issue. It isn't quite the same, but both articles revolve around the same concept :)

7/02/2006 2:41 AM  
Blogger halalhippie said...

Karin, I agree w/you to a certain extent: "we" have lost values in the West. We live interesting times, maybe one day we'll realise what we lost and take it back.

Noor: to answer your Q "Why the bible says this and ppl to that".. If something (like living together unmarried) is wrong, it is wrong - not because the Bible says - but because everybody agrees it's wrong.
That, I believe, is the general wiev.

Moral value change over times, not always for the worse. Let me give you an example from DK. 30-40 years ago if somebody drove a car while drunk -and no accidents happen, ppl would tolerate it. Now, it's normal if one sees a drunken person gettting into a car, to call the police. We just don't tolerate it anymore.

mr_gq: "you shouldnt much from the kuffar" much what ?
"we" have culture, tradition, law, family, friends etc. to guide us - everything you have, except the Qu'ran.
" The Bible that you see today is false and distorted." I totally agree, therefore I dont't let it guide me.

neverland: "People in the west[..] think that freedom means to act with no boundaries at all!

If it were only true :-) That would be funny. Boundaries are everywhere, without them there would be no civilization

Noor: I'm confident you can read the Bible (or any book) with a critical mind and make your own conclusions.

7/02/2006 8:57 AM  
Blogger Noor said...

Karin: I understand the way of this. In the societies, all societies if there is something so popular and consider "Normal" by all people. All people will do that thing regardless what religions said about it. Even here, there are things not in Islam and done only as traditions and habits transferred by generations. I'm so happy that you understood my point and that I'm talking in general.
Mr GQ/ Omar: first: I'm happy to know that I'm making something good and help to understand the way of life in this world. However, I'm sorry I don’t think people of west have nothing to guide them even in general things. I found in The Bible what I was wishing for. It's support Islam teachings. But the error here is with people and societies, not with the religions and Holy Books. I went to see the bible answers to know if that's okay in Bible and people allowed to live together without marriage. So, I found out that people do things against The Bible teachings!!

Al-Hajeji: you are not serious?!?!! You don't know who is Sheikh Ahmed Deedat??!!! Unbelievable…
look at my websites here and go to his official site to know this wonderful man. Btw, He passed away in 2005. :(

Neverland: Dear, thanks and I did visit your blog with many many other blogs. Therefore, I just lost and I have long list in my favorite sites. So give me a time to order all these blogs that I found and give a bit time to each one ;)
Here I'm talking about some specific act in the western societies that made me confusing and wondering if it's allowed by their religion or not. So, tell me, how I will know the answer of this question. Should I go to Koran to know?,,, NO, they are Christians and I should go to The Bible to know the answer of this question. The answer that really relieved me and I'm so happy that both religions agreed in this topic. Who sent to you that e-mail is a bit reckless otherwise he will know why we or I used the links from bible seeking for Answer regardless our accepting or not.

halalhippie: Thanks for your valuable comment. Nice of you to share in this respectable way.
U r tolerate with me now ;)

7/02/2006 1:30 PM  
Blogger halalhippie said...

I am tolerate with you ? Certainly. You really got me thinking here. As Karin mentioned, living together un-married is so normal, you don't think of it. But it wasn't always so. Only a couple of generations ago, an unwed mother was outcast from her society.

Now, in the news in DK is a tragic story of honour-killing among Pakistani immigrants.
if you care to read. Sorry to link to the infamous J-posten, but it's the only place I could find a link in English.

There was also an article about marriage in Pakistan. It seems 99% of all marriages are arranged by the parents. So, it's normal there. If I were living in Pakistan, I probably wouldn't think about it. But in Europe, young ppl find their spouses by themselves. Sometimes they make the wrong choice and divorce. And try a new one.

Now, let me ask u a Q: My brother dated a girl for a year, married her, lived w/her for 15 years, had children, and left her for another woman. I dated a girl for a year, lived with her for 15 years, had children , and THEN married her. Which of us - in your opinion - is the biggest sinner ?

7/02/2006 3:06 PM  
Blogger allaboutgq said...


I meant to say, "You shouldnt expect much from the kuffar."

The non-Muslims do not have much to guide them.

What do you have? You mentioned culture, tradition, law, family and friends are used for guidance. Dont you see a flaw in that statement? All of the things mentioned consist of the human. How can anything man-made or man himself, be used for guidance? How can a human, which was created by god, guide himself?

The Quran and Sunnah ARE our guidance. They tell us how to sleep, eat, have relations with our wives/family/friends, how to do engage in business dealings, how to use the bathroom, how to deal with crimes, how to pray, death, etc. You can take any issue and there is answer in the Quran and Sunnah.


How can you say error is not with the religions and the holy books. We, as Muslims, believe there is only one true religion, Islam.

Everything else is false.

I hope I made some sense. If I offended anyone, forgive me Insha'Allah.


- Omar

7/02/2006 10:20 PM  
Anonymous Neverland said...

Dear Halalhippie,

Well, the boundaries I am talking about are the religious ones.

When you don't adapt the right principles of religion, well, no boundaries will exist that makes you fear God and thus you start acting according to what you want.

I know with no boundaries, there will be no civilization, but the rules that is made by humans and we should follow as citizens, is so much different from our rules that systemize our relationships with God and what surrounds us -socially!!-

Dear Noor,
I got your point, but still something is messing here!!

I have read the Bible once, and found what you were talking about, but if you REALLY read the Bible, you will find two different statements regarding this issue.

1- One of the statements says that Jesus said that it is forbidden to have any sexual connection without marriage. It is Forbidden and not allowed by any means.
2- The second one: Jesus told the other people who wanted to punish the woman who did the forbidden "etha kan menkom be3.ayre 5ate2ateh fal yargomha be7agar"
- The one who had no sins shall throw the rocks-

See what I am talking about? We are talking about two different Rules for the same issue! It is confusing, shall I punish people who do that or not? And If I followed the second statement, well, it will be like; it's ok to do that! Because you only punish for the wrong action, and when you don't, it means nothing went wrong! So, It is confusing!

So, I do believe you should have had a deeper research. I do respect what you have written, so please don't get me wrong :)

I have to clarify one thing though,
We are ALL sisters and brothers, and I don't believe in saying that I am Christian I am better, or I am a Muslim I am better, it is between God and the individual...I mean, some Muslims don't really belong to Islam and don't present it well...So, I don't want to be get here as someone who is attacking :) not at all!
I respect everyone and I respect their beliefs.

7/03/2006 4:04 AM  
Anonymous Neverland said...

And one more thing to add, You said that westrens are Christians?

That isn't quite accurate my dear, christians should go to church, and most of them really don't :)

Most of them are like Many Muslims, who says that they are Muslims but don't pray, it's just a right they had by birth ...

So the answer can't be supported by using the Bible, taking into consideration that most of people aren't quite religious...

7/03/2006 4:39 AM  
Blogger allaboutgq said...

A Muslim is better than a non-Muslim.

Allah says,

“Thus We have made you [true Muslims — real believers of Islamic Monotheism, true followers of Prophet Muhammad and his Sunnah (legal ways)], a just (and the best) nation, that you be witnesses over mankind and the Messenger (Muhammad) be a witness over you”

[al-Baqarah 2:143]

Our beloved Nabi Sallallahu Alayhi Wasalam said,

“Nooh (peace be upon him) will be called on the Day of Resurrection and it will be said to him: ‘Did you convey (the message)?’ He will say: ‘Yes.’ Then his people will be called and it will be said to them: ‘Did he convey (the message) to you?’ They will say: ‘No warner came to us and no one came to us.’ It will be said to Nooh: ‘Who will bear witness for you?’ He will say: ‘Muhammad and his ummah.’” He said: “That is the words of Allaah, ‘Thus We have made you a just (and the best) nation.’” Ahmad (10891) added: He said: “And they will be called and they will bear witness that he conveyed (the message), then I will bear witness for you.”

- Al-Bukhaari (4487)

7/03/2006 8:13 AM  
Blogger Tristan Vick said...

Deedat's comments are unwarrented. Again, I see a great affinity to place blame on "The West" instead of on "The SINNER."

People sin. It's a fact.

People who have God to guide them live much better and cleaner lives.

I agree that this having babies out of wedlock thing is disgraceful. It is sickening, grotesque, and horribly contrived way of finding a false type of happiness.

This is love without God. And see how fast it becomes wicked and sinful?

It's not only the "west" my dear. It's the "East, North, South, West, Northeast, Southwest, etc."

The only reason it is seen in the "West" so often, is because everyone keeps their eyes on the "West." But I can assure you, sin is sin is sin, and it's everywhere.

7/03/2006 1:22 PM  
Blogger halalhippie said...

Lots of interesting points here: I am grateful to y'all for sharing.

mr_gq: I understand what u mean: many ppl in the West lack spiritual guidance. I guess many ppl in the Muslim world get spiritual guidance, but do not follow it.
"You can take any issue and there is answer in the Quran and Sunnah." sounds like u can use them as a manual how to live yor life. Absolutely no disrespect here. Many times I wish I had that.

neverland: Even if I don't use the Bible to guide my every move, its teachings are still in my cultural background (my grandparents were very religious for example) I still believe God looks after me and guides me. I pray to the same God that you do, only in my own language (if u understand what I mean)

Tristan, good 2 have u here.
Noor, thanks for letting me join.

Bless you all

7/03/2006 3:09 PM  
Blogger Tristan Vick said...

Also I think it is important (important!) to realize that Tom Cruise is NOT a Muslim. He is NOT a Christian. He belongs to Scientology -which is a cult which has nothing to do with real religions.

Many people in Hollywood are NOT Christians and Muslims. Some are, but not many. So I think this is important to realize when saying... so and so is bad and they represent the West.

Tom Cruise makes the U.S. look immoral in the same way that Osama Bin Laden makes the EAST look immoral.

The only difference is Tom Cruise hasn't killed anyone in real life.

7/03/2006 3:56 PM  
Blogger Tristan Vick said...

“Righteousness exalts a nation, but sin is a disgrace to any people.” - Proverbs 14:34

7/03/2006 4:46 PM  
Blogger allaboutgq said...


By no means am I trying to offend you. I apologize if I have.

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask here or via email.

- Omar

7/03/2006 7:31 PM  
Blogger Noor said...

OMG Halalhippie Dear, I never thought of u here. I never knew about ur personal life. U put urself and ur brother as an example, but u forgot important thing. Any man can do the same cheating whether he was married to his woman or not. If he was married and has legal children, he will find himself more responsible about them. I read a story of British girl I forgot to mention her "many years ago, I found this story with her picture with her daughter". I remember her picture with her 3 years old daughter. She was only 17 years old girl with 3 years old daughter. She was pregnant with her boyfriend in the school when she was only 15, married him in 16 divorced in 17. So, she became divorced mother living alone with her daughter in very very young age and in very bad situation. That really broke my heart especially when she insists to raise her daughter in proper way and if her daughter wanted one day to do what she did before, she will not let her destroy her life. A tragedy story.
Now, who is biggest sinner??!! My viewpoint could be different from yours. But believe me any woman in this world has one big happy moment. When her man asks her to marry him and prepare herself for her big night. Few men have this commitment and try to prepare themselves for this big step. But still, marriage is the gate for any healthy life for couples.
If man thinks that I'm great and respectable lady, he will try his best to make me his WIFE.
As for the Jesus statement if the case of that woman. I think it wasn't meant to be it's okay what she did, but the story related somehow about Jesus and the oppression of clergymen. There are some conditions in each case. Like the thief in Islam, as I know if he did that because he was needy not because he loves to steal, so they should not apply the punishment on him.

Omar Dear, I'm with you, we have very clear and lighted road that make us more stable in our lives. For that, I was wondering about some acts in the west. I tried to see and learn if it's their religion teachings. I think the westerners trying to rid of the controlling of churches and religion in general on their lives.

Dear Tristan: Take it easy. I understand ur point too. And yes you are right. People now got this view and accepted such a way and applied it everywhere now. It's really unpleasant act make me sad for people declare the are in love and have deep affections and then what,, nothing. The expecting step to marriage never taken till years and years. So, what is the point of marriage in this way? Why people get marry if they can live together and have babies without any Sacred Bond?!!!!!
OMG. You got me wrong by Tom example. Well, I was in love with Tom Cruise (OH YES YES I WAS I WAS). For that, I was interesting to know about him and I was happy for him as he decided to marry little girl Katie "who converted to his belief", then I shocked by that pregnancy news. So, I know he is belonging to this Scientology and as I read it's controversial church, but I know nothing about it.
Anyways, I know that some acts could deface entire nation and people, but we should have to know and open nice dialogue to know more about the cases.

7/04/2006 1:19 PM  
Blogger halalhippie said...

Noor, I thank you for not judging me and my brother: it's just an example of how "we" in the West can be man and wife w/out religion having anything to do with it. For the record: my wife and I chose each other before God long before we got legally married, and my brother to this day is a very responsible father.

And then u say "some acts could deface entire nation and people, but we should have to know and open nice dialogue to know more about the cases."

You know what _I_ think of there :-) ?

So true, let's not judge too fast.

7/05/2006 12:47 PM  
Blogger Um Haleema said...

I know many completely NON religious people that are better people than some of the ones who pray 5 times a day or all day long. They do not need the fear of God to be kind, considerate, honest, generous and loving. The fact that these people live together and have children outside of marriage does not automatically make them bad people. They may very well be better people than the ones that we judge, by their appearance and attendance at mosque or church, to be favored by God.

7/07/2006 5:31 AM  
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